Sunday, November 19, 2006

Rear Window

I've got some interesting neighbors in the building next door. My bedroom looks directly into their dining/living room, which makes it impossible to avoid either overhearing conversation if the windows are open or seeing things you're not supposed to see if someone forgets to close the curtains. This is true in both directions, which is why I'm also ultra-vigilant about my own windows.

For the past few weekends I have been really confused. First it was some old white people; then a black family whose young kids kept hanging out the windows; then a very loud group of Americans. At first I was excited -- American neighbors! -- until I realized that they were only here for the weekend since (DUH) the apartment was probably just a vacation rental. Yeah, it took me about a month to figure out why my neighbors across the way kept shape-shifting.

Last weekend some raunchy English girls rented it. Saturday afternoon, I was reading in bed, not paying attention to the outside world. R strolled in, walked over to the window, and stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes became saucers. "What?" I asked him. He just pointed. I got up to take a peek. "Oh..."

One of the girls was giving a strip tease to her other friends, with the windows and curtains wide open. By this point the girl was wearing only a thong.

At that exact moment, she turned around, saw us gaping, screamed, yelled "PERVERTS!" and slammed the window shut and pulled the curtains tight. BUSTED. The shutters remained firmly shut for the rest of the weekend.

I know R was probably very disappointed with this reaction, imagining all the wonderful possibilities of debauchery...a "Dear Penthouse" letter come true, etc. I guess he'll just have to wait to see if next weekend's neighbors can top this.

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Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs! said...

Lol. By far, your best post.

Michael said...

Excellent story. I think you could make a blog just based on the "Apartment across the way".

Anonymous said...

wow, youre famous, haha.

is etienne marcel your real name, then? did your parents name you after this person? or is this just a name you go by on the internet. because i think etienne is a male name in france

Anonymous said...

They'll probably go back to California or Liverpool or wherever telling everyone that all Frenchmen are perverts. Your secret's safe with me.

MonsieurCAVALIER said...

My neighbor on Blvd Clichy used to have a curvy young woman clean his flat in the nude while he sat in an arm chair. He was an older gent and I suppose it was a harmless past time. I don't know how much cleaning actually got done, because the woman seemed to vacuum directly in front of him - most of the time. Not that I noticed or anything. I'm a writer. It's my job, nay - my duty, to make observations about human behaviour. Right?

Etienne said...

M. Cavalier - that's hilarious!

and DW-B - I know, that's what bugs me! Is it my fault if I happen to notice what's going on just because they don't close their windows?

I'm going to have to start paying more attention to that apartment since this post seemed to be so popular!